he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
