I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
