Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
