If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
