You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I cut my penus on the lid.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
