I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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