ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
