Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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