U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
