Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
