So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
