Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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