we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
