i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
