Quick, to the slutcave!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
