Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
