I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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