So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
