did you get engaged???
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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