I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
