i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
