Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
