It's Friday. Sex?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
