Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
