well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize