It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
