Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
