she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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