True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
