well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
