Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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