last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
