Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
