Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
