Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
