checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
