I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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