Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
