it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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