Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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