Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
