Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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