Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
