do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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