I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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