We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
