you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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