Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
