So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
