dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
