Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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