we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
