We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
